A Room With A View?

Tonight I have a room with a view..whoo hooo...oh wait. The view is not "that" kind of view. This is a view no one wants or desires. Phoenix Children's offers my "view" tonight. I look out into the night and pray, Dear God, please take this migraine away from my girl. The view would be a whole lot better say if I was sitting on a balcony at a resort, but, for now that is not to be. The view I am allotted on this very evening is right where God's plan for my and Amanda's life intended us. Do I know why He would choose this view for us? No. In my human nature, I find myself wanting to cry out "why", but I know that I am not guaranteed an answer and perhaps may never know the answer as to "why" Amanda has had a migraine for 22 days. I can know that God's plan is perfect and I am right where He knew I would be even before time began. But, does that take away the pain of seeing my child suffer? Absolutely not! I would have to question my mothering if I didn't feel pain. So, I ask, is my "view" perfect tonight? By my standards, no; in God's plan, yes.

As a mother, it breaks my heart to see my precious daughter suffer with no relief. To hear her cries, to watch her sleeping, wondering what's going on in her head that is making this migraine relentless --heartbreaking. As I sit beside her hospital bed tonight, I thank God for blessing me with such a sweet young lady. God absolutely knew what He was doing when He gave her to me. I am not a perfect mom by any means and never will claim to be. I will claim to be a mother who is a sinner in need of a Savior...and I have that! I think of the words to a song Amanda wrote on my dry erase board at home when I was going through a very difficult time...

I believe Always, Always...

My Savior never fails...

Some might think God has failed me in this time of need, but on the contrary...He is lifting me up and carrying me every step of the way. His arms are wrapped around me and Amanda at the exact same time! How cool is that!?! And on that note, I will rest assured tonight that God has it all under control.