Missing her smile.....

A smile seems like such a simple thing; something one really does not have to think twice about. It's in that smile the joy is made known to those around. But what happens when you are really missing that smile? Causes you to not smile, too.

It breaks my heart. Amanda is such a precious gift to me and she is normally a fun-loving, goofy girl just living the life of a 15-year-old. But, her smile has been nearly absent for going on 3 weeks now. She hurts, aches, is nauseous....and no one knows why. Tension mounts as I allow the evil of stress overtake my mind. What is a mother to do? It is like we are ingrained to have heartache, pain, saddness  for the sake of our loved ones, especially our beautiful children. And, you know, that is exactly where I am right now! I would gladly take her suffering upon my own self to ensure she could get through her days pain free; that's not how the cycle works, though, unfortunately. A mother can dream though, right?

We tease Amanda saying she is a medical anomaly; no one can figure out what is going on with her body. But in reality, she is a medical mystery for sure. And, no I do not want that kind of diagnosis for my daughter. Medical mysteries are not for my child. No way! Uh, yes way....God does not promise us a life free of pain and sorrow. He just promises that He will be with us every step of the way, comforting us. Nothing more special than lying in our Father's embrace!

Therefore, with each medical mystery that arises for Amanda, I will trust God has her best interest in mind; I know He does. Fear is still there...that's a part of human life, but with God, those fears can be eased.